TL;DR; Nothing interesting here. No informative things only a personal entry of things I thought I should get off my chest.
Long time no see. Since this past few months have been very busy and this blog is meant to be some kind of personal(lulz) diary – and nothing personally devastating happened – I have not been posting anything in a while. This time there is however something that I think needs some venting on my part. There is something I just need to get out. My time in Japan is going to end soon and I have been thinking a lot about Europe, Austria, Japan, the very different cultures, myself and my future.
In the past I have been moving a few times in a very short period of time and there was no place that I really felt like home. After the house I grew up got torn down I never had the feeling that the other houses or apartments were my home. It was no problem because it made moving easier and less involved. Just packing stuff and moving it thats it. No tear shed about anything.
Furthermore I do not fit into the Austrian culture. I could not care less about the joke that is supposed to be Austrian politics. I do not care about Austrian customs as most of it is coming from religion or influenced by it and I certainly do not care about religion. I do not care about football or any other sports as you should as a man. I do not care about being cool like the hipsters and I do not care about being “manly” like another big part of the men in Austria. In short I never really had the feeling of belonging in Austria, no feeling of being home.*
I came to Japan because I was curious about the culture. I wanted to experience the things I read firsthand and myself. I was curious about crazy (internet) Japan and I was also curious about less crazy Japan. Before coming here my sister told me “You will either really like it or you will really hate it because it is so different from what you expected. There is probably no middle ground.” – she was right. I think it is not the typical weeabo reaction. I don’t think that Japan is this awesome country and everything is great and Japanese is great and Anime is great and <xyz> is great. I do see problems – a lot – and I do experience things I dislike. However from what I have seen so far the I am a better fit for Japanese culture than I have ever been for Austrian culture. For the first time in a long time I feel home. I do miss my friends and my family and a few other things from Austria but in Austria I have not felt home in a very long time.
Maybe this is a natural feeling of not wanting to wake up from a dream. However I don’t feel like it is a dream. I didn’t to all the typical semester-abroad-going-out-a-lot-6-months-holiday-stuff I just lived a normal life. Exploring a culture that is so different from my own and still more home to me. Maybe this is the standard end-of-stay reaction but I doubt it – to me it feels a lot more down to earth.
*I know that not everyone is like that and I do not dislike everything in Austria. I am talking more about the general majority of things.
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